


Flip List

by Blueskullcandy



Series: LU Artist Appreciation 2020 ficlets [2]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Gen, HOPE YOU LIKE THIS DUMB THING, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), THIS IS FOR WAFFLES, This is, Time sky and twilight are only briefly mentioned so I'm not gunna tag them, anyway, but they... kinda show up, i dont think i did it right, oh well, oh yeah, this was my first attempt at crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27271261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueskullcandy/pseuds/Blueskullcandy
Summary: His enemy isn't even trying to hide himself.Then again, even if the other did, Warriors wouldn't believe it.He was the only one left, after all. They had to be coming for him.
Series: LU Artist Appreciation 2020 ficlets [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985707
Comments: 7
Kudos: 104





	Flip List

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my second piece for LU Artist Appreciation 2020 and it is for Waffles!
> 
> I hope you enjoy my first attempt at crack!

One after another, they had fallen. 

First was Sky. All it took was a single swing of the cane and the hero chosen by the Goddess, originator of the Hero’s Spirit, was down for the count.

Next was Twilight. Though his senses were honed to a fanged point, he was no match for his hunter. In the end, the farmhand was nothing but a wolf caught in a snare, snarling against an unchangeable end. 

A single stroke of the cane dispatched him as well. 

Time went quietly. He accepted his fate. Knew he deserved it. He bowed his head when his attacker grew near. And, like the two who came before, he was down with one strike. 

Which just left Warriors.

But the Captain wasn’t going to go down without a fight. 

Leaves, branches, vines, they all whip across Warriors’ face as he runs headlong through a dense grove of trees. His heart pounds as fast as his legs beneath him, breath slicing in and out of his lungs as he surges through the greenery.

_ Just a little farther,  _ he tells himself, ducking a branch, vaulting a bush.  _ Just a little farther and I can turn the tables. Just. A little– _

A gnarled root hooks his ankle, threatening to send him to the ground, but the scarf wearing hero manages to catch himself at the last moment, pausing only the briefest of seconds to right his balance before he’s off, tearing through the trees once more. 

But his mistake does not go unnoticed. 

Behind, the sounds of pursuit pounds ever closer. Each snap of a twig, every rattle of a branch sounds like cannon fire in the captain’s ears. 

His enemy isn't even trying to hide himself. 

Then again, even if the other did, Warriors wouldn't believe it.

He was the only one left, afterall. He had to be coming for  _ him.  _

A flash of daylight ahead and Warriors feels his heart leap with relief as he dives toward it, erupting into a clearing. Then, the moment he is given the room, the scarf wearing hero turns on his heel, pulls his sword from his sheath, and lowers himself into a fighting stance. 

Ready to end this hunt. 

…

...

And yet, for how close behind he was, his pursuer does not burst from the trees, baying for blood. Doesn’t slink slowly from the shadows of the forest, intent on revenge. Doesn’t emerge, large and grandiose, ready for a triumphant monologue. 

No.

Instead, Warriors is met with total, unsettling silence.

Gone are the songs of birds, the chirps and screeches of bugs. The snapping of twigs, shifting of leaves, and ragged breaths: all of it is gone. 

Only the sound of a soft breeze shuffling through the leaves can be heard, soft as a sigh.

It makes Warriors skin  _ crawl. _

“Come on, I know you’re there!” Warriors snarls, brandishing his blade in front of him as he turns circles in his little clearing, an island of safety in the veritable sea of monsters that is the surrounding forest. “If you want me, come and get me!” 

“Oh, don’t worry, Captain.”

Ice claws down Warriors' spine and his grip on his sword tightens, turning his fingers bone white. 

It isn’t a voice that speaks those words. No. It is a chorus; many voices ringing out as one, dark and layered and  _ eager _ , coming from every direction at once. 

There is a laugh. Giggly in some parts and a snarl in others. 

“I intend to.”

Faster than a blink of the eye, a small shadow bursts from the forest, sprinting headlong toward the captain. Warriors brings his blade up to meet his enemy, ready to defend himself–!

But alas…

Unfortunately, it appears as though Warriors has brought a sword to a magical item fight. His soldier’s blade can do nothing to protect him, nor can it deflect the glowing yellow ball of magic flung at him from the end of his assailant’s curved staff.

“This is for being stupid!”

The orb of energy swings once around the Captain’s legs–

And then Warriors’ entire world flipped upside down.

Or more accurately, _ he  _ is flipped upside down. 

He hangs in the air like that for only a split second, his stomach in his throat while blood rushes to his temples as his feet stand where his head had been but a heartbeat ago. 

And then he comes crashing down, body dropping to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut, going face first into the dirt.

Grass goes in his mouth.

It’s terrible. 

And unfortunately, probably deserved.

Before he can recover from his tumble, something hard and decently heavy drops onto the back of Warriors’ head with a  _ clack  _ that the scarf wearing hero can feel in his teeth. It’s a two for one deal for his attacker: mildly painful with the benefit of grinding his face more fully into the dirt. 

The blow also –thankfully– startles him out of the daze of being _ flipped faster than a spare rupee in Tingle’s wallet.  _

With only a little bit of effort, Warrior’s rights himself, bringing him eye to eye with his assailant: a  _ painfully  _ neutral faced Four. 

Warriors tries for a guilty smile. 

Four’s eyes narrow. 

_ Ouch.  _

“If you’re going to make me the butt of your joke,” the little smithy says, directing his eyes pointedly to something on the ground beside the Captain as he leans on his Cane of Pacci, “At least make sure I’m not looking  _ directly  _ at you while you do it.  _ Morons.” _

Warriors feels his brows forrow at the statement, before he quickly turns to search for what Four could be talking about and–

Oh.

_ Oh.  _

Because there, sitting face up in the grass is Wild’s Sheikah Slate, it’s screen lit up with a photo. 

It’s… Well, to be frank, it's a very unflattering photo of himself, Time, Twilight, and Sky. Taken from a… not so great angle, their wide smiles almost look  _ menacing,  _ which isn't helped by the way they are all underlit by the flash of the slate itself, making their faces stand out in contrast to the dark background.

But the  pièce de résistance, the brand that had no doubt doomed Warriors and the others, is the caption of the image. 

_ AHAHA HOW ARE YOU THAT SMALL _

_ Oh yeah.  _ Warriors can see how the little smithy would take offense to this. Especially if he  _ saw  _ them take the photo while looking directly at him. 

“Oh and Warriors.”

The Captain’s head whips up at the casual voice, only to catch Four just as he is swallowed up by the shadows of the forest, leaving nothing but a wide grin and two multicolored eyes glinting at him from the dark. 

“This was only the beginning.”

The eyes and grin fade into black, leaving Warriors alone in the woods.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of [this](https://mmmwafflesart.tumblr.com/post/624786936027103232/you-guys-are-going-to-regret-that-real-soon) piece by @mmmwafflesart on Tumblr!
> 
> yeah uhhhhh, not sure I'm really all that great at crack. I wanted to go for the "so dramatic its funny because of how dumb this is" but I'm not sure I actually nailed that mood. Oh well. Have this melodramatic mess!
> 
> And Waffles!!! I hope you liked it! All of your art is so good and (very often) absolutely hilarious! I hope this can manage to invoke even a little bit of the humor so apparent in all of your work! Thanks so much for being an amazing artist!!!!
> 
> Stay safe out there guys!


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